time ticking away

Best Shot Monday's theme this week is about time moving quickly.  And in those small moments where we see it slipping past, what holds our attention.

Most of what has held my attention this past week has been planning my brother-in-law's wedding and the logistics involved with planning in Vancouver while I'm here in Calgary, as well as the fun of trying to get other family members to 'buy-in' to my ideas.  My ego is pushing my ideas, because, of course, I figure they are better ideas than anyone else's.  Hmmmm....

And then I had the opportunity to spend time taking care of Molly (above) who is, sadly, on the downward slope of life.  She's thin, has a lot of lumps that may be cancer, wheezes all the time, has hips that don't work and cloudy eyes.  And look at her!  She's just as happy as a clam to be out for a short walk.  She doesn't much care about anything except that I try to keep up with her, and give her food to eat, water to drink, and a few bellyrubs for good measure.  No ego.  No positioning for accolades.  No hurt feelings if someone doesn't agree with her outlook on life. 

So even though she's in pain and sauntering towards the exit door, she still has lessons to teach.  Even if the student is a little slow and pig-headed.

Oh, and when I die, if I get to come back, I want to come back as a well-loved dog.  Like Molly.  With lots of bellyrubs, please.

gratitude

I'm not usually grateful enough for all the wonderful things in my life.  I generally get overshadowed by the non-wonderful things and end up brooding to the point I forget about the wonderful things.

However, this past July I stayed at my sister's friend's place in Glen Ellen for 16 days.  This is her view up Sonoma Mountain, with the fog just lifting off in the morning, the bees buzzing on her masses of lavender, and the olives ripening away on her trees. 

I am grateful I have been able to carve out a life that led me to this place.  I am grateful I have a husband who supports all my weird artful follies and sees value in them.  I am grateful I have a Mum who came along and made it much more fun than being alone.  And I'm grateful for my sister who told me about the house-sitting option.  Oh and to the owners, for letting us stay in this wonderful place.  I really really hope it's a yearly thing.  I could totally get used to that.  :)

growth?

As per Best Shot Monday, she has requested that we look at the growth that has taken place in our lives lately.  The only growth I have is my ever expanding butt.  Most of everything else is contracting.  I've found, over the years, that I've put myself 'out there' and then promptly get put down.  So I've slowed down in my zealous attempt to be flayed continually.  Funny that.

And I know where it all stems from.

This is one of the very few photos I have where I know I'm pregnant when the photo was taken.  And this is one of the very few photos I have where I still think (at the time, in the photo) that life turns out the way you expect it to.  6 years, 5 miscarriages, and 80 pounds later, I know life definately does not turn out the way you expect it to.  And that sucks.  Hard. 

Hence the shrinking of my life, not the growth.  Sorry.  Not really playing along well this week.